The Power of Forgiving

In almost every healing modality – every religion, spiritual tradition and personal growth method – we hear how important forgiveness is.

Yet we are not taught what forgiveness really is… how it works… or how to truly forgive.

So, what is forgiveness?

• It is about clearing our emotional hooks, the toxic anger, judgements, and resentments that we hold onto from the past, which continue to sabotage our lives.
• Truly forgiving means letting go at the deepest levels… leaving room for everything you would choose to move forward with.
• Forgiveness means understanding that we never need to condone a behavior that has hurt us or someone we care about. It is not about forgetting.
• Forgiveness is a conscious choice, a route to personal freedom. Although it is sometimes a difficult choice, it is the decision to embrace a fuller, richer life – one filled with deeper contentment and happiness, more joy, more love.

Maybe open with these statements…

Which ones do you recognize most strongly in your life? How do they impact your quality of life?

• I just can’t get past what they did to me or my loved ones, and I don’t want to, or can’t, forgive them. 
• I don’t want to condone what happened to me in the past, and I don’t want to forget. But I want to be free of it.
• I feel betrayed and I can’t get rid of the feeling.
• I am so hurt, and my life is still so affected by ‘them’, emotionally, mentally and physically… while they are probably just getting on with their life.
• I am so down on myself… filled with self-judgment, guilt and self-blame… for the hurts I have caused (and still cause) myself and others. Forgive myself? Love myself? These are just concepts.
• I want to finally let go of the emotions holding me in their grip and in the past, but I don’t know what to do about it.
• I am desperate to forgive, let go and heal, but I just don’t know how.

What would it feel like to be able to say?

• I do not have to condone their behavior. 
• I don’t have to forget what they did. 
• I am the one suffering, not them, and I don’t want to give them that power over my life anymore.
• I choose to forgive what needs forgiving and put the burden and suffering of the past behind me.
• I have discovered the difference self-forgiveness makes in my life and actually enjoy ‘Me’ now.  I no longer go to sleep in self-accusation and I wake up in the morning looking forward to my interactions in the world. 
• I choose to move forward and experience what life can be without old resentments and baggage.
• I choose clarity in all I am and all I can be—living my true potential as a human being